Edit: Started on Egeo II.

Edit: Finally getting an MRI the 23rd of august. Still long way but atleast its hope. Jaw is on and off, also have lots of back neck and shoulder problems lately, all my bones creak and crackle, i hope its not a global muscle affliction.

-cal.

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Right now i am not sure how my life is going to be, it is difficult to put to words the kind of 'treatment' i can expect for my jaw, tendons and muscles affliction, certain types of fysiotherapy have been suggested (have gone through that before so nothing new threre) but it is much too soon to be sure if its not something else afterall, i will try my best to keep my posture physically, to get better.. but perhaps it is in vain, this might sound like it turns out its not that bad afterall but that presumption would be dead wrong, my hurt is in no way reduced and obstructs my daily life greatly, let alone my mental coping.

Funny how the themes of my music hit me in the face, as it is my want' strongly (egeo) to attain a life of health.. yet are met with the same struggles as my characters, to not know if that want is my friend or my foe. Is my want too much? Regardless of it in comparisan to the want of the general public being quite small..  should i want just for the gift of waking up in a house with plentiful food and a world around me that is at this point relatively peaceful. (lets not go into the depths of what about it isnt)

I dont know, im cursed with the want to create order in chaos at the very least.

And right now i want nothing more than to live and continue to make music, and make worlds, in my mind books have been written i would want to put to music, the final book of The time crafter for instance, as a polar opposite to Night named "Day" telling of the heir to Trine and daughter of Selen, Lone's final return and inevitable death that has not been put to thought yet but closing in on. The return of Uume (TTC mozaic) and Ega (TTChegenero), the onslaught of Hura's remaining sages Metameci and Mijudes upon Edin. And even the ressurection of buhishin and all its tentacles (at once) (being Atadema, Herui marm, Gibren ánd Osega) also creating a fifth tentacle that because of its power withstands the enslaving aspect of the transformation making him the most powerful antagonist in the series yet.

In the final story i have chosen not to make a puzzle out of who the antagonist is, i can even safely spoil that it is Metameci without it damaging the story. The only part of the story that will be the familiar puzzle that comes together in the end is why. And how it relates back to the older books, i mean.. in the conclusion of TTC night it is explained how Sam somam (pronounced as sang soam, just for the record) is the absolute antagonist of the first five books being linked to most determined events. In TTC day it would explain what truly happened in the age of Diades and Eken's childhood when Ega supposedly (yes supposedly) ravaged Hura, and why Hura was ravaged back then)

Ok, Enough about TTC now.

I dont know if i will have it in me to put music to this, to be honest i would love to make the music like i did Egeo, part chiptune part hifi, but its just a want, just.. an Egeo.. now.

In real life im overwhelmed by alot of sentiments, both my condition and current afairs, my countries problems, things i experience in everyday life with people in my city being more and more asocial and mannerless, there is more and more poverty and decay of positivity appart from the silence of nature, an ever increasing illusion of inadequacy surrounds me speaking of powerlessness. The world upside down on the tv.  inanis orbis oncemore. And here i remain a storyteller imprisoned inbetween, troubled, haunted.

-cal.